Tuesday Tantrums

When she was very young, my daughter once said, in her best witch voice, "Bubble, bubble, toilet trouble."  Wow! I could have said that twenty times today.

Trashing the restrooms is the latest sport among the tots these days.  From water, soap, and towels all over the floor to using the urinal for the wrong function, the facilities have been taking a beating lately.  Yesterday, the boys made me come in--GAG--to look at a four letter word referring to the male genitalia written on the wall.  As bad as that boys room stinks, I can't imagine anyone staying in there long enough to practice his penmanship.  Silver lining--the word was spelled correctly.

In response to the vandalism, the restroom procedure had to change.  NO ONE IS TO GO TO THE RESTROOM EXCEPT DURING A WHOLE CLASS BREAK--unless it is a dire emergency.  Problem is EVERYTHING in third grade is a dire emergency.

I am a rule follower. 

The PA system had not even been clicked off after morning announcements when the golden child needs to "use it."  "No, sweetie," says I.  "No one can go to the restroom by themselves.  You'll have to wait until we have our break."  Pitiful facial expression follows.  "I'm sorry," I tell her. Stomp, stomp, stomp back to her desk.  Pout, pout, pout for the next ten minutes.

Ten minutes later, "Can I go to the bathroom? It's an emergency," he says.  I refrain from reminding him that there is no bath tub in there, and instead say,"I'm sorry.  You have to wait until our break.  We'll go in 15 minutes."  He says, "I'm gonna use it on myself.  Really, it's coming." Ewwwww!

I am a rule follower, but I prefer not to have urine on my classroom rug.

So I count, "One, stand up. Two, push in your chairs.  Three, slowly and safely, line up."

Should have checked the hall first.  Half of the kids have filed out of the room when I discover that one of the first grade classes is just getting to the restroom.  And, the substitute next door is taking her group on an unscheduled break.  Turning the line around to go back into the classroom, I hear a chant in my head above the moans and groans--bubble, bubble, toilet trouble.

Seriously.  You wouldn't get it.  It's a third grade thing.